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iTunes beats DirecTV

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iTunes beats DirecTV

DirecTV is a great option if you inhabit an alternate universe where it has ceased to rain or snow. Fortunately, all the trees and buildings to the south have probably been burned to the ground by roving gangs of cyborgs, so signal blockage should not be a problem.

It is likely that hordes of cyborg b andits have taken control of the limited supply of water and formed a dictatorship with an economy based on moisture credits. So paying for your satellite TV could be quite an ordeal. If you are a smoker be very careful because pretty much everything is kindling.

iTunes rocks!
iTunes rocks!

Dealing with the killer cyborgs is a delicate matter and their customer service leaves a lot to be desired. Every time you call the support center they try to push life insurance on you naming themselves as beneficiaries. The human body does largely consist of water after all.

In this post-apocalyptic world of roving gangs and moisture farms, vicious attacks are considered a pre-existing condition by your health insurance provider, so you will have to pay out of pocket for stab wounds and gunshots.

Before relocating to this nightmarish existence, consider if it is worth it just to receive the lumberjack network and 24-hour coverage of the Bulgarian Parliament.

Back in the Good Ole Milky Way With iTunes

If you want an alternative to the wastel ands of thirsty maniacs, take ITunes for a spin. You can live anywhere and enjoy TV on dem and, with the exception of Clevel and of course since it is just a suburb of the cyborg ruled barrens.

Pay only for a single episode of a show or buy the whole season. You can watch whenever and wherever you want as many times as you want, and on several different devices.

Watch every episode of Friends, Glee, and America’s Got Talent free of commercials while relaxing in your home. However, on second thought taking your chances with the barbarian hordes might not be so bad

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